Bihr Aphteh Wurkk, A Strategy Guide

Level 1: Lord & Master

The first round is pretty straightforward, a quick tutorial to get you accustomed to the controls in a social situation. Once the game is loaded you arrive around 4:30 on a Wednesday, so the bar will be clear; quickly follow your teammates to the hanging platform and immediately claim your territory. The table in the back corner has clear sight lines across all approach vectors, so throw your jacket down with the rest of the squad and immediately take point on drink orders.

Sidle up to the bar, deliver the order and make nice with the bartender: avoid paying with cash, as you will want to keep a tab open for the next stage.

Deliver the beer gracefully, and ration yours to last as long as possible; perversely, the Lord & Master will actually damage your health and taste buds with every sip. You can visit the men's room for a quick refresh, but you shouldn't need it this early in the game; instead, make sure to sip your beer at measured intervals to keep pace with the rest of the squad. If you fall too far behind everyone else, the final challenge will trigger and force you to shotgun the rest of your glass in one gulp.

Level 2: Imperial Jack

Now things start to get interesting. The second level starts at 6:30 on a Friday night, so the bar is thick with South Park technocrats; hang back on the first approach and let your squad leader take point on the drink orders. Background noise is pretty bad up front, so don't try to cherry-pick your loadout; it's not worth the ego damage. Instead, choose the "I'll have what he's having" option and make sure to turn in your Strong Beer drink ticket to get credit for quest completion. Don't lose the ticket, or you'll have to start the whole game over again.

This level is pretty fast-paced and devoid of seating, so you'll have to conserve energy while balancing the weight of your glass and keeping up a steady stream of quips for the team. The difficulty curve will ramp up pretty steeply in the next level, so make sure to develop relationships with your squad now; you'll need their help to beat the final boss.

For now, just focus on mastering your social control and balancing your beer intake with leveling your wit and levity. A hidden shortcut will appear near the end of the level when it starts to rain; take it and head for the exit, making sure to hit the men's room for another health refresh if you need it.