Quixotica

Yeah, I know it's cheesy.
But really, that's what makes it so awesome.
I don't care if it sucks, I'm buying it anyway.

Breakfast: A bowl of oatmeal, water and a piece of fruit. (Apple?)
Lunch: A turkey club, sans bacon. Bottle of water and a banana.
Snack: Water, raisins, and green beans.
Dinner: Water, bowl of cocky leeky soup, half a turkey avocado wrap, and a square of chocolate zucchini cake.

Oh man, tell me I don't own this healthy eating thing.
Any better and I might start crapping rainbows.
Or unicorns.

Teehee.

Hmmm.

This is me trying to keep up with scribbling at least once a day.
I'm sweating like a pig.
...?
I know pigs don't sweat.
Hush.
I'm fascinated with this utility's ability to post pictures.
I wonder how many I can post without breaking it?
Or until my friends, family and close associates break me?

Oops.
Forgot to call for jury duty.
Again.

Why do they send you these things 4-5 months in advance? Don't they have any sympathy for the calendar-challenged, the delightfully discombobulated? Maybe they'll arrest me; throw me in the slammer, send me up the river, lock me up and throw away the key. It's cool, I can understand.

I'm a rebel.

For some reason, it seems I've lost all sense of social timing in the last week or so. It's left me adrift, unable to properly express my impotent rage. Instead I've had to flail about powerlessly, my wild gesticulations and strangled attempts at humor lost amid a sea of vacuous chatter. This stuff is no exception; my endeavours regarding poignant irony and dry witticism fall flat every time, and I'm having trouble even completing a sentence properly.

On the other hand, I'm kicking basic sentence structure and paragraph format's ass.

I've got to get out of here, the gym closes in thirty minutes and I'm a lazy bum. I thought I'd throw up a picture of my cousin, because I enjoy knowing that I will get punched in the face by a family member at a socially inopportune moment. If you're having trouble, my blood relation is the one who's throwing up the signz.

She's got the funk.

It's all lies, damn it. From both sides, covering all angles, mistruth after mistruth is carelessly heaped like so much carrion garbage on the grave of good intentions. You big beautiful bastards.

So I've got this debate due.
Early tomorrow morning.
I've prepared maybe the first three opening points.
And I've got to be at work in about fifteen minutes.
But I'm not worried.
'Cause that's how I roll.
Etc, etc.

Also, I apologize for the rather unwieldy and sometimes downright irascibly ignorant nature of this particular piece of digital estate. I started this scrawl to get myself back into the habit of writing as early and often as possible, an optimistic hedge against the possibilities on the morrow. As such, I feel I'm obligated to assume that anyone and everyone (all three of you) might at some point lay their troubled eyes hence, and to pretend to write accordingly. Sorry, is that too dull? Lacks the traditional "pizzazz," that certain spark, the unrepentant purple prose of only the foolishly gifted or the most vainglorious windbags? Hmmm.

Oops.
I'm late.
Adios.

!#@$?

Oh man. I have such a ridiculous crush on Prince Henry and British aristocracy in general, it's not even funny. I would totally go gay for him. Seriously.

Apparently, global warming is now definitively "likely man-made" and is unavoidably going to continue to shape our world's climate for the next millenia or so.

According to these guys, it's imperative we convince society that the negative influence of our waste on the biosphere is real and we must make significant changes now in order to avoid even more drastic climatological change than is already slated to take place.

When were we unsure? When in the last few years did global warming go from significant problem to quack theorem and back again? I can remember being raised in junior high and even elementary school to conserve electricity, cut down on air conditioning and drive as little as possible. Hell, isn't this where the original spark for the hybrid car started? And what about the Kyoto Protocol?

This last year, I can remember it remaining down at coat-and-hat temperatures (SoCal, read: 40 degrees) well into June and even July. In early October, we had a heat wave. It's February now, and while we maintain at relatively stable late-winter temperatures we still get an occasional 85 degree day. I've heard things back east are even worse, with freak heat waves and snowstorms happening all throughout New England. All I have to do to know the environment has some serious issues is look up; with that kind of overwhelming proof, how can anyone value their Suburban enough to keep looking down?

I hear you, Internet. You think I don't, but I do. Your reckless carrying on at all hours of the night, your careless disregard for rules and your inexplicable obsession with farm animals. With your Facebooks and your citizen journalism, your content aggregators and your hiphopz; I know what's going on. I'm hip. And there's just one thing I have to say about all of this rapacious, irreverent behavior:

I want in.