So I just found out the Internet is more robust than even I had imagined.

Grab your address bar by its wily stamen, and type in the title of your objective with no restraint. For example, fill that void with "San Francisco State University." Go ahead, try it.

I'll wait.

Isn't that badass? Anyway.

Saw this.





Awesome concepts and scenes soured by lame dialogue.
Just curious to see if I can post from work.

Hmmm.

To be honest, I don’t have anything to write about. I’ve got a biodiesel column to write, but I imagine I can take care of it tomorrow; I’m still waiting to hear back from the source for a possible interview.

I remain firmly in a state of mild shock that the barrier to entry in this industry is so flimsy; I edit copy from contributing writers that bears all the distinguishing hallmarks of a middle school student essay. These people get published; perhaps not in a first-rate periodical, but they get published. The relevation that I am essentially capable of penning a piece and peddling it to publishers in exchange for legal tender has slowly dawned upon me in the last week or so.
EDIT: One of the editors just came by to double-check the spelling of my surname, then inked it in on the proofs I compiled. This equates to awesome.

Anyway. I guess this is sort of a bittersweet epiphany; while the revelation of my sudden viability is empowering, it means the bar I had so recently begun sprinting towards is set depressingly low. No worries; just means I’ll have to try out a few of the more innovative aspects of the major when I get San Fran. I suppose I’d better ferret out a proper place to stay; I hear it can get chilly on those foggy September mornings.

Obama wins.

Bitches.

The man's got a face hewn from stone and lips as black as sin; the obvious choice for the leader of the free world.

Can we still call ourselves that?

Frequent spacing gives my passive prose the weight of deliberate and meaningful thought; also, it makes it look bigger.

My internship is awesome; well, actually it kind of sucks, but in a good way. I get to do boring uninteresting tasks all day, but it's preparing me for a career in which such painfully mundane tasks build to occasional crescendoes of mind-bending joy and fulfillment. It's like a stepladder to Heaven built entirely of razor-sharp d4's.

Random segue? Oh yeah, that just happened.

I imagine you think of a d4 as being rather puny, as damage dice go.

You've obviously never stepped on one.

Anyway.

Sooo, I work about 40+ hours over six days out of the week. I make it out to the gym four days a week, averaging about an hour and change each visit. I make multiple shopping trips throughout the average hebdomad* in order to keep my woefully bare pantry in some semblance of repletion. I try to go for at least a 45-minute to an hour walk every day. Twice a week, I bum around in Matt's garage.

I guess what I'm trying to put down is that I'm awfully damn busy, at least as far as young college men on summer furlough are concerned. And yet, here I sit on a Tuesday evening at just past eight, with absolutely nothing to do and no one to do it with. Dusk is settling and the temperature's finally dropped off; I'd love to go out and kick a ball around with "the guyz," watch a crappy movie in shared agony or just go out and "keep it real" for a few hours before I have to retire in time to be up for work tomorrow. Yet, nothing seems to be going on. Logically I can only deduce two valid hypotheses:

1. The majority of my acquaintances are busier than I am.
2. The majority of my acquaintances are doing stuff that doesn't involve me.

I suppose a third possibility might incorporate horrible illnesses, debilitating dismemberment, and a shared consensus in which many were as one in sitting around twiddling their thumbs and writing semi-angsty "blog" posts which occasionally dipped deep in the waters of pedantic hyperbole; still, I find it best to restrain myself from desultory attempts at humor. Thus, having likely joined the unwashed ranks of the socially undesirable like Mitch and Tyler (sorry Mitch and Tyler, but I figure the chances of you reading this are rather slim. If so, hey! We're losers together! Let's hang out sometime. Shower first.) I feel an ever more pressing urge to get away from this area; it's almost depressing, to savor the essence of this same foolish ignorance and willful folly welling up when I so often lambasted friends, family members and lovers intoxicated by its fragrance. I won't say I was wrong in my prior judgments, only that my actions now are purposefully perpendicular to the route my feet once walked.

I was going to end that paragraph with some adriot and didactic line about the soles of my feet catching the briefest whiff of wanderlust, etc. etc.

Unfortunately, the sheer overweening ego of the sentence was too great for the structure to maintain (grammatically correct though it was,) causing the entire thing to collapse into the endless void between paragraphs.

Thirty-two vowels, ninety-three consonants and one brave period lost their lives in the tragic aftermath.

Never again.




*Fuck yeah it's a word. Look it up.
A recent email:

Dear Alexander Wawro:

San Francisco State wants you to know important facts that pertain to your life as an SF State student. For information about the following topics, please refer to the web sites.

Blah blah blah boring financial aid, graduation and registration information ad nauseum.

A printed copy of this information is available on request from the Registrar's Office.

Best wishes for a successful semester at San Francisco State.

BWAHAHAHA.

This is gonna be ridiculous awesome.

A recent headline from the campus paper:

"Students join longshoremen to voice dissent on May Day"

Longshoremen! They have longshoremen up there! I've never even seen a longshoreman!

Also, you cannot delete an account on Facebook. I know, I've tried; it's simply impossible.

It's come to my attention that as a writer, I'm actually a bit shit. Given the circumstances, this could prove to be a bit of a persnickety wicket.



Why is it everyone from the 80's loves Boston so much?

I don't get it.

More Than A Feeling is really the only crutch you have to stand on here.

I have so much more pointless rambling to disgorge; that's why I'm gonna go grab some coffee instead.

'Evening.

I wish I had something electrifying to post, a post-modern smorgasbord of forbidden delights which you might devour at your leisure in a vivaciously vicarious manner.

But I've gotta get over to the gym, shower and cook lunch before I run down to Anaheim to hit on attractive women. C'est la vie.

So, I find I'm really developing an addiction to hazelnut. Seriously. I put hazelnut coffee sweetener in my tea, in my oatmeal, in yogurt...shit, even in my coffee. It's getting out of hand. And Nutella? Best not even to discuss the delicious horror that Italy has unleashed upon the world.

I joined Jasmine and her father at Rutabegorz for a mid-afternoon snack today (as I am wont to do) and went hogwild by ordering a salad. We picked up a svelte side of thai ginger peanut dip as well, and things went downhill from there. Peanut butter makes everything more delicious, and in an effort to prove this point I dunked a complimentary lemon wedge in the delectable dip and took a bite. Turns out, lemon wedge + peanut butter = mouthgasm. So, of course, I dipped everyone else's complimentary lemon wedge in the concoction and proceeded to thoroughly enjoy myself. There was no stopping my rampant deviance; I moved on to fishing hunks of broccoli and cauliflower out of my salad and coating them in the forbidden fruit, before finally giving in to my perverse cravings and topping what remained of my forlorn spinach salad with an unholy mixture of balsamic vinegar and French's yellow mustard.

It was delicious.

I tipped our waitress extra; she wasn't so hot with the service, but no mortal should be forced to witness such gastronomic heresy uncompensated.

Shh...

It's coming...

Don't look! You'll jinx it...